2019’s Wild and Wacky NFL Offseason

The NFL is no stranger to shocking and downright mind-boggling offseason trades and transactions. From teams trying to move up in the draft or unload salaries, to players that want a new place to play, the 2019 offseason has been no different.  Let’s recap what’s happened so far…

Antonio Brown traded to Raiders:

A doozie right out of the gates. Antonio Brown, desperate to get out of Pittsburgh, gave the Steelers one last big middle finger when he left after restructuring his contract. The restructure and subsequent trade left the Steelers with a $21 million cap hit and two Sage Rosenfels worth of draft picks.

Michael Bennett traded to Patriots:

While Bennett being moved may not be a shocker to Eagles fans knowing the team was gonna have to let some key guys go, the fact that he is a Patriot now has some Eagles fans reliving that day in high school when they witnessed their girlfriend giving handjobs under the bleachers. Oh, the betrayal.

DeSean Jackson traded to Eagles:

DeSean is coming home after a very turbulent exit during the regrettable Chip Kelly era in Philly that saw him go to the rival Washington Redskins. Do you think he’ll replace all those jerseys burned by those fanatics in midnight green? My instincts tell me probably not. Get ready to re-buy that number 10, you dummies. Now if only Nick Foles were still there.

Odell Beckham Jr. and Some Other Guy traded to Browns:

This was another holy Browns, I mean shit, moment. OBJ was understandably saddened at first by the fact that he was traded and possibly also the destination, but he now has a young not-Eli Manning throwing him the ball and with the addition of Jarvis Landry last year, Cleveland is now poised to almost maybe get close to nearly making the playoffs.  I must also mention the Giants now have 12 picks, including two 1st rounders (6th and 17th overall). Let the rebuild begin.

Ryan Tannehill traded to Titans:

The craziest thing about this trade is Miami waiting so long to unload its starting backup quarterback.

Case Keenum traded to Redskins:

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Speaking of starting backup quarterbacks, the Redskins bungle yet another offseason in which they keep being the Redskins. With that said, if the Redskins surprise us and parlay this into a package for Josh Rosen, we’ll have to hold our LOL’s until mid season, when Rosen eventually fails as all Washington quarterbacks tend to do.

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